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On tap and to go as of 12/01

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The Infamous...Nectaron, 8%

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Adversarial - Smoothie w/Chocolate, Peanut Butter, Ice Cream, 5.5% In The Buckeye State, you’ll find a couple things - reverence for the rivalry with that Team up North and little peanut butter balls dipped in dark chocolate and served as cookies called buckeyes. For those with peanut allergies, pairs with runny nose, hives, redness or swelling, itching or tingling in or around the nose and throat, diarrhea, stomach cramps, nausea, vomiting, tightening of the throat, shortness of breath or wheezing for everyone else pairs with dotting the i. >: [

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Adversarial - Smoothie w/Chocolate, Peanut Butter, Ice Cream, 5.5% In The Buckeye State, you’ll find a couple things - reverence for the rivalry with that Team up North and little peanut butter balls dipped in dark chocolate and served as cookies called buckeyes. For those with peanut allergies, pairs with runny nose, hives, redness or swelling, itching or tingling in or around the nose and throat, diarrhea, stomach cramps, nausea, vomiting, tightening of the throat, shortness of breath or wheezing for everyone else pairs with dotting the i. >: [

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Woodland Critter Christmas - Smoothie with Candy Canes, Ice Cream, 5.5%

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Adversarial - Smoothie w/Chocolate, Peanut Butter, Ice Cream, 5.5% In The Buckeye State, you’ll find a couple things - reverence for the rivalry with that Team up North and little peanut butter balls dipped in dark chocolate and served as cookies called buckeyes. For those with peanut allergies, pairs with runny nose, hives, redness or swelling, itching or tingling in or around the nose and throat, diarrhea, stomach cramps, nausea, vomiting, tightening of the throat, shortness of breath or wheezing for everyone else pairs with dotting the i. >: [

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Conquest - Apocalyptic Smoothie w/ Coconut, Ice Cream, 5.5% ...behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer. The Tribulations have begun. Theologians disagree on the identity of the rider of the white horse. Some interpret scripture as describing Jesus, while others insist it’s the Antichrist. You’d think it would be easier to tell the difference. This title was a revelation ushering an Ill Will epoch. Luscious coconut overload, and if you are lucky you pour some shredded coconut too. Pairs with Revelations, Armageddon, and dark chocolate. >: [ Suggested Listening: Hail the Apocalypse - Avatar

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Pop Quiz: Algebra - GF Smoothie with Green Apple, Bubbglegum, 6.5% X(n+1) = R X(n) (1 - X(n))

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Leviticus 24:19-20 - GF Smoothie w Cantaloupe, Coconut, Pineapple, 5.5% Honest in admission, our good buddies at an impeccable brewery stole one of our beer ideas for their own. Since imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, we swiped one back. Pairs with some Old Testament shit. >: [

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Discombobulated - Smoothie w/ Apple, Pear, Cinnamon, 5.5% Vexing. Perplexing. Disorienting and Bewildering. This dizzying seasonal overload pairs with corn fritters, corn mazes, synonyms and cinnamon. >: [

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Outfoxed - Smoothie w/Ginger, Cinnamon, Nutmeg, Ice Cream, Molasses, 5.5%

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Bells of War - GF Hard Seltzer w/ Grape/Peanut Butter, 5.5% In Ill Will lexicon words and concepts connect related titles providing clues to their composition. When you see a reference to war in a title, know to expect peanut butter. This stems from our October ‘23 release that showcased solely peanut butter, (named for the second horseman of the Apocalypse) War. The theme shows up in present and future titles like The Art of War, Cold War, Turf War, Warpath, War Monger, Guerilla Warfare, All Out War, and here for our Wu Tang release - Bells of War. With more texture than a commercial hard seltzer, but less than our typical offerings, this ‘tweener title was developed to be crushable and inspired by your favorite Uncrustable. This title perhaps tastes more like peanut butter and jelly than a peanut butter and jelly. Dry yet sweet, prepare for War. Ill Will is Forever

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Mean-Mugged - GF Smoothie w/ Pineapple, Banana, Coconut, 6.65% Pairs with first identifying who wants some, and then proving that they do not, in fact, want some. >: [ Suggested Listening: Clint Eastwood - Gorillaz

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Pairs with Gallagher and the Infinite Sadness, which coincidentally are near synonyms. >: [ Suggested Listening: Bullet with Butterfly Wings - Smashing Pumpkins

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Sucker-Punched - GF Smoothie w/ Pineapple, Passionfruit, Guava, Orange, Apple, Mango, Apricot, 5.5% In 1934, three business partners developed the original recipe for Hawaiian Punch in a garage in Fullerton, CA to add a tropical-tasting syrup to their line of ice cream toppings. Customers soon discovered that the concentrate was delicious when mixed with water and by 1950, the company began marketing it as a beverage. By 2023, Ill Will Brewing began marketing it as their first gluten-free smoothie. Pair with keeping your head on a swivel. >: [

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Battle of Puebla - GF Smoothie with Mango, Habanero, 6.5% On May 5, 1862, French General Charles Latrille Lorencez ordered a frontal assault on Puebla, a city 80 miles between his forces and his objective - the capture of Mexico City. Lorencez wrote his minister of war in Paris, “We have over the Mexicans such a superiority of race, organization, discipline, morality, and elevated spirits that I beg you to inform the emperor that, from this moment on and at the head of six thousand soldiers, I am the master of Mexico.”. Texas-born Brigadier General Ignacio Zaragoza wrote, “Fuck that”. Severely outnumbered, out-trained, and ill-equipped, Zaragoza led a ragtag collection of soldiers and civilians in turning back “the world’s best army” by masterfully utilizing terrain. The stunning victory contributed a significant morale boost to the beleaguered nation and remains celebrated in the state of Puebla. A bastardized version is observed across the U.S. as an excuse to drink margaritas. Not as thick as our typical creations, we ventured in a spice/heat space for the first time - conditioning our hard seltzer base on habaneros before blending fresh mango, lime, and chamoy. Pairs with Al Pastor and resistance. >: [

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Lesser of Two Evils = Smoothie w/ Blue Razz, Raspberry, Strawberry, Almond, 5.5%

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Impending Doom - Imperial Stout w/ Toasted Hazelnuts, Coffee, Cacao, 10% In Irish mythology, The Morrigan is a triad of sister shapeshifters closely related to war, prophecy, fate, and death. One sister often takes the form of a crow called Badb. Foretelling doom or impending carnage, Badb could cause fear or confusion amongst soldiers thus swinging the tide to her favored side. In art she is often portrayed washing the bloodstained clothes of those fated to die. Black, boozy, and luscious, it pairs with that constant feeling in your gut associated with being a Browns fan. >: [

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Hydra + Hostility - Smoothie w/ Cantaloupe, Banana, Pineapple, 6.5% Dwelling in the murky swamps of Lake Lerna, Hydra had been raised since birth, by Hera, to destroy Hercules - her husband Zeus’ illegitimate son with a mortal. When Hercules wed (a mortal), it further enraged Hera who inflicted him with madness causing him to murder his own wife and kids. To atone, he consulted the Oracle of Delphi who placed him in service of his cousin, King Eurystheos. The king imposed a series of tasks, thought to be impossible, known as The Twelve Labors of Hercules. The second labor: slay the nine-headed Lernaean Hydra, which had been ravaging the countryside. Pairs with angering the gods and defying the odds. >: [ If you’ve not yet experienced cantaloupe in a beer, this one slays. In collaboration with our dear friends at Mortalis.

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Impeached - Smoothie w/ Peach, Strawberry, White Chocolate, Almond, 5.5% Only three U.S. Presidents have been tried in the Senate on articles of impeachment. Nixon resigned prior to charges, leaving Johnson, Clinton, and Trump (twice) with the rare distinction. Andrew Johnson came the closest to removal as the required ⅔ majority failed by a single vote. Pairs with Constitutional violations such as treason, bribery, and other high crimes and misdemeanors, and ultimately partisan politicians not giving a shit. >: [

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Bananas - Smoothie w/ Bananas, 5.5% During the ‘60s, Panama Disease decimated the world’s crops of Gros Michel bananas - a fatter, more flavorful cousin to our modern cultivar. While the fungus nearly wiped ‘Big Mikes’ from existence, the less-popular, less-flavorful Cavendish banana proved resistant to the pathogen and survived all the way to our grocery stores today. The former packed more of the compound isoamyl acetate, which is what we interpret as banana flavor. It is not that banana candy does not taste like bananas because it is artificial, instead, it is that bananas no longer taste like they used to. Pairs with a cognitive bias that parallels nostalgia called rosy retrospection. >: [ Bananas is completely bananas for fans of candies like laffy taffy and runts.

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Originating in Franconia, Kellerbier distinguishes itself from Marzen by its peculiar conditioning techniques; typically cask conditioned, but without plugging the bunghole. The small opening allows natural carbonation to escape (rendering the beer mostly flat) and local yeast and bacteria in, potentially contributing wild nuances. The beer is then served unfiltered, fresh and without extended lagering - resulting in a cloudy appearance. Do not make my bunghole angry. >: [ Nuremburg, Germany

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An excavation site near Haifa, Israel, revealed what is currently believed to be the oldest known brewery dating 13,000 years. Until Daniel Wheeler’s 1818 drum kiln, malt was dried over open fire. Thus, for millennia prior, all beers had displayed a smoky character. As the rest of the world eagerly adopted this new technology that removed smoke flavor, brewers in Bamberg, Germany, remained animus to change and loyal to the traditional process - as they do to this day. Pair with raspberry goat cheese, gouda, ham, and curmudgeons. >: [ Water Profile: Bamberg, Germany

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Cream ale has been brewed in the U.S. since the mid-1800s as an American competitive alternative to Czech and German pilsners. As a follow-up to our C.R.E.A.M. ale, we doubled the base recipe and then added 2lbs per barrel of locally roasted espresso beans. Pairs with Smoke Worx’s portobello sandwich topped with roasted red peppers, fontinella cheese, and a splash of balsamic vinegar and dough, bread, cheddar, Gouda, lettuce, cabbage, and bacon, - ie. that paper. Suggested Viewing: Shaolin vs Lama (1983)

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Tmavé pivo, or dark beer, has been served in Bohemian pubs for hundreds of years prior to pilsner. U Fleků, which only brews the former, has continuously operated since 1499 compared to Urquell and their original pilsner since 1842. Smooth and crisp with hints of toffee, bread crust, and chocolate is perfect for invites to fancy dinner parties and subsequent declines. >: [ Water Profile: Plzn, Czechia

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When Bavaria’s crown prince married Princess Therese von Sachsen-Hildburghausen, the newlyweds invited all of Munich to celebrate. The reception concluded on October 17, 1810 with a horse race. The following year, the race returned - accompanied by an agricultural fair. In 1818, booths serving food and drink were introduced setting the stage for a devolution to a festival where 2.5 million gallons of beer is consumed annually. Traditionally, the fest served märzen (what American brewers typically label as Oktoberfest), but that changed in 1990 when Paulaner spearheaded the conversion to Festbier - a lighter more repeatable design. Pairs with schnitzel and inventing a beer specifically so people will drink more of it. >: [ Water Profile: Munich, Germany

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Built on a 100% pilsner base, we utilized both lager and champagne yeasts and manipulated the fermentation temperatures to appease both species. A dose of the enzyme, glucoamylase, assisted the yeast in their consumption of complex sugars leaving it bone dry for the most ardent of crispy boi fans. We then dry hopped with modern varietals at 2lbs per barrel - just enough for supporting flavor. It’s not a typical American Lager and it falls well short of an India Pale Lager. A crisp drinker, with enough flavor to keep it interesting. Time to get Unruly. >: [

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